Death of a Helpline

By the time you swear you're his,
Shivering and sighing,
And he vows his passion is
Infinite, undying,
Lady, make a note of this —
One of you is lying.
~
Dorothy Parker

As I write this , I just get off from a 1.5 hour long telephonic conversation with a female friend of mine ( I know I have your attention NOW , Thanks ) . She was girl friend of a friend of mine ( Sorry for disappointment ).They had a fight and He wasn't answering her repeated calls ( 2 calls in 15 minute to be more precise ) . All through our conversation she was constructing a solid case against her beau, with anecdotal evidence supporting her preliminary and irrefutable hypothesis that Her boyfriend is the most insensitive man ever walked under the sun .Our conversation was abruptly terminated with a crisp sign off message "wait a sec ..HE is calling " . I am not waiting . why ?? Because I know that on Her chronological scale "a sec" will pass only when her boyfriend will be rude to her again and that may take anything between 1 week to 6 month .

This is neither new nor one off incident for me . On last count there were 4-6 such girls who regularly resort to call me in the hour of their "Boy friend inflicted distressed" . Initially , as a cornered concerned friend I used to try tohelp them by listening intently , carefully analyzing the situation and suggesting a Win-Win Paradigm for them and their boy friend . But it didn't helped them one bit . so for past few months I decided to help my self and admitted the futility of my endeavor . I stopped being my rational ,analytical logical self and constrained my self to " You are right " " I understand " " He should understand ", "That must be hard " ," Really ?? I can't believe HE did that" etc .

The trouble is that even that has started taking its toll now . I am tired of this thankless job .I think I can spend my energy on more useful tasks ( like updating this blog more often ).So I have decided to put an end to this . since some of these girls read this space regularly so I am officially announcing the closing of this help line here ( for those who don't read it I will send them the link to the post over email ).

Message is loud and clear I will not be entertaining such calls anymore . This line is and will be [perpetually ] busy.

Aforementioned helpline was one of many humanitarian activities where I got my self involved into without making a conscious choice . But my days of youthful indiscretion are long since over ( or so I am told by my Mom) so i am getting rid of them one by one . Today is the day to mourn the death of this helpline .

Funeral Speech:

I can call for souls from the heaven & ghost from hell, So can you.
That is not important, what is important is, Will they come?

William Shakespeare In Hamlet

Ladies and their boyfriends

We are here to bid final adieu to this unpaid job of mine in which you pushed me on the name of our friendship.Its a norm that on funeral you talk about the good and bad time you had with the deceased.share those learning you had from him. Everything in life teaches us something but whether we learn it or not is optional . same is true for this experience too .I have some fond memories of my time with this helpline . I learned a lot of things from it . It will be terrible loss if all this learning is lost. So for posterity's sake I am listing some of my conclusion here.

• Your intentions and sincerity is useless if it originate from a sense of compromise somewhere deep down . Glory of sacrifice is often overrated.
• No amount of Display of effect can't produce the cause. Be Honest to yourself and don't deny the reality . if the feeling is not there anymore than admit it .
• Avoid Long Distance relationships. they are only good for cellphone company .still if you got to do it then use Skype . Why ?? because when the damn thing will eventually blast ( usually its a question of When ..not If ) you will find your self only emotionally broke not financially broke.
• Watch your words to know where the relationship is heading. Avoid few words like plague. Excessive use of word "SPACE" is most reliable indicator of upcoming disaster .
• If you think your life is boring than its probably because you are not doing anything interesting . Not because your partner is not showing enough interest in you.
• There is a difference between missing someone and your obsessive need of companionship to compensate for your lack of purpose in life . understand it before its too late .
• Its never too late . you will always find someone else and it will be Equally( if not more) hard to adjust with him/her.
  

and lastly

• When you call someone at 2 'o' Clock in night to tell your problems.He deserve a proper "Thank you"

So "Thank you" and I hope not to hear from you again .

PS: This post was written at 4 in morning with a part humorous and part frustrated state of mind .

And Time Can Do So Much

Get Your Own! | View Slideshow

My Ex roommate and College Buddy Rohan Arora got married last Saturday . it was a memorable ceremony , got a chance to meet a lot of friends from College . kinda nostalgic to catch up with the Gang . All dressed up like a Fashion parade [i wore a Sherwani , it's a weird outfit ,special the chudidaar part of it ] and felt like going to a Farzi marriage .

Once in the car park and with snacks and Beer we remembered Sutta meetings for Strike planing at College Gate ,drinking beer in "contri" [rohan was paying this time ] . (still ) Talking about those Girls and how they are married to some guy who is no better than us [ arrange marriage you know ,No Background Check , We were sure he was worse than us , You agree with me . don't you ?] , we were sure she must be realising her mistake now [are you ?]

Damn. No one has info about HER . I hope she is still single [I am , just in case , you are reading this :) ]

Strange what few years can do to a person . Some of the Folks were bald ,some were silent ,some still got funtush after a single Beer , Everyone Agreed that In Delhi Girls always do a overkill of Makeup & look horrible [as if we are Beauty expert, so what if we don't look like one .after a beer sometime we are Rocket Scientist ]

Most of the guys were heavy by a few pounds since i last saw them . some were with their better Half and were under a chronic fear that We [read ,Bachelors] will tell the truth to their wife . some played safe and came alone. To my great surprise a Brat among us was concerned about Diapers of his baby and an Eternal late comer were worried about reaching home in time .

One thing i learned is that if you are newly married don't even think of buying CAR . people will always see it as "That Gift " even if you are the one who is paying the EMI ,and god help you if it carries a licence plate of your home town . It was a refreshing to see that our the Fighter guy Vivek was still the same . no suit no change and same enthu still the old self .i love him for that .

Time take its toll both in body and spirit . Inside the suit some guys were New Men they were different but i expected that . I still miss the old Tribal warmth but still i feel good that all my folks are well settled and Happy .

Hope to see guys you at next ceremony from our gang [There are still some trees to be chopped down]

I wish Good Luck & Happiness to Rohan and Ashima , Godspeed .