serendipity

Few year back I read a novel named "The Lost World " By Michale Crichton . the protagonist in that book was Dr.Ian Malcom . He was a scientist at Santa Fe Institute where he teaches Chaos theory. At one point in the story while he was giving a talk about Survival at K-T Boundary he asks

" What Makes you think that Intelligence & Awareness are defining trait of Human Race ?.No Its Not . Our Defining Trait is not awareness but its Conformity .Look at what we as a species are doing to Ecology and biosphere ,The very Foundation of our existence , we are damaging the Biggest enabler of life on this planet ."...

after a pause He says one of the most impressive lines I ever read. he says

"...Life Happens to us in spite of our intelligence not because of it "

Many year later today I realize that this is true not only in Biology but rather in every aspect of our Life .

"...Life Happens to us in spite of our intelligence not because of it "

I don't write this blog with any delusion whatsoever of offering any solution to Grand Question of Evolutionary theory . i have a very limited knowledge but still there are few things about the world and how we lead our life here that never fail to amaze me.one such thing is the seemingly random events which makes us happy , inspired and make us feel an inexplicable urge to do something extraordinary. what are these events ? why are they so random ?

We plan our life by the year but we are forced to spend our life by the day.we plan what we need to do Today so that we can ensure that our life is comfortable 1,5,10 or 20 Years down the line . From study,job,savings,insurance,stock,mutual fund to Buying AC in Winter and woolen cloths in summer ,you name it .

Outside of drinking beer I don't think anyone around me do anything to make him happy "Today". what was the thing that made me happy last time ??

a phone call from friend , Warm Smile from a colleague , a cheer full kid sitting next to me in DTC BUS, Stumbling upon a OLD song on Youtube.an encouraging remark from my boss, 2 hours of 150% of productivity in office because I reached there at 7:00 AM , a chirpy Girl from adjacent office who asked me "Hmm..long hairs ?? So will You be having a Pony tail now ??" and of course receiving comment/link back on a post I wrote 2 year back. all these tiny little things which I have no way to control .

Irony of life is that on death bed we won't remember what happened in Years , We remember moments . Moments of Love,Happiness,Ecstasy, Accomplishment, sadness and Joy. I am 30 years of age. If tonight is my last night what will I remember on deathbed ? what are those moments in my life till now ? funny thing is that none of these moments were result of any meticulous planing . They just happened .Till recently it was very hard for me to explain this ... I wasn't able to find right word for it .

But not anymore.Few days back I had a discussion with my friend Pankaj Parihar and he used a word which was exactly fit for what I wanted to convey.the word was "Serindipity" . Yes serindipity that was it .

"God has a plan for me ..and thats all I want to know "~ Anonymus

Each one of us want to know what's god's plan for us .at times when we are just drifting through the life we doubt;Do god really have a plan for me ?? Why can't I see his plan in action ? Where is the sign ? Where is the angle ? I think that all those serendipitous incidents are sign of god's plan. Take today for example . why i am writing this post today ?? I was thinking about this for a long long time but why now ? Why Today ?

Well because today I read a very inspiring discussion on Slashdot about value of taking risk and following your dreams and how to balance this with Family responsibilities . I received an email from a longtime reader of this blog asking me why I am not regular with posts.

Was there anyway I could have planed for these inspirations ? No . They just happened. I pick up the inspiration and run with it . result ?? I wrote all this in 20 Minute without a single break :) .Thats the power of serendipity . once you pick up the hints dropped by these seemingly random events there is no limit what can be achieved , its ..its like magic . I never typed that much in 20 Minutes . :) .

Unfortunately our whole society teaches us to ignore these hints , they ask us not follow that tiny little voice inside our heart . they give us logic ,rationality , plans , predictability and boredom . life tells us to take chance , society tells us to take precaution.

"Unless something terrible befalls you (unlikely) people rarely regret the choices they made and the chances they took. The regrets you have are the chances you never took. The opportunities you had but never caught. Go to your next reunion and talk to the people who are there. It is usually astonishingly depressing. A huge part of them still remember school as the best time of their life and they always will. The best time of my life is in the future, and it always will be. Take chances, try new things, and that will always be the case. Don't listen to those who tell you to "be responsible" and "content with what you have". There is only one reason they are giving you this advice. They hate to see you on a new adventure. It reminds them of all the opportunities they passed up in their miserable lives. When you get successful some time in the future, and if you try hard enough you might be, they will tell you about all that they "could have done, only it was... [wife, kids, job, weather, house payments, sick mother - take your pick] that prevented them from becoming successful. Oh, and BTW, if you succeed, these people will resent you for it."

~ Terjeber commenting on a Slashdot discussion

So folks what are you waiting for Go Out , Go Ahead take your chance.listen to the hymm of life its telling you something .don't pay attention to what people around you tell you , remember

"Risk is not that you will fail , Risking is that you won't even fail"
you think about it ..मैं चला बीयर पीने ...


Photo credit : Mr. Yogesh Moorjani

When Bhuddha Meets Spidey

No , Jack Daniel was No Saint . But He did Started something of a Religon

Tagline of Jack Daniel Whiskey

In previous post I told you about my childhood fascination with Gautam Buddha and how I aspired to leave world in search of truth. I also mentioned that very soon I would be running out of my long-standing excuse of not going on the journey. Buddha was one influence.

There were few more Heroes of mine. Chacha Chaudhary, Super commando Dhruv, Oshin, Siddharth Basu, Vyomkesh Bakshi, & Spiderman. [ This is what happens when you spend most of your time in front of TV while your pals are playing "Gulli Danda" in street]. Out of all these characters Spiderman was the most influencing figure. So much so that my mom used to tell us that "if you don't complete your homework by 4:00 PM, I won't let you watch Spiderman" and I tell you there was not a single occasion when we missed it [provided that there was no power cut]. Such was the madness that my brother and me used to sing along the title song of that serial. We didn't actually know the lyrics but someone told us that toward the end of each stanza it says, "Here comes the Spiderman "and that was enough for us. We use to speak some gibberish all along just to say, "Here comes the Spiderman” just at the right time.

It was not just his superhero acts like casting web, punching hard, beating BAD guy and flying on threads, which made him my favorite. For me at least, part of his appeal was also due to the fact that his alter ego Peter Parker was a total loser in real life. Bullied by guys, good at studies, girls respected him but none of the damsels love him. I possessed exactly the same characteristic. [This respect Vs love problem is chronic in my life. will write a full post on it someday]. Anyway, so for a good part of my school life I was secretly wishing that one day some spider will bite me and I will morph in to some kind of superhero. But like rest of the females around me, females of spider species too, didn't find me worthy of a bite. All I was asking for was just one bite. Imagine how deprived of emotions they were [both spider and girls]...To hell with both of them...

At times I felt that teachings of Buddha & Spiderman were pulling me in opposite directions. Which was strange because I was under the impression that both of them were embodiment of the same principal." To think beyond your own narrow self interest, to think about your fellow human being and do something for them". But this knowledge doesn't make my quest any easier. Then one day while I was having a beer I had a flash of insight. [This usually happen after third bottle but that it happened on after first, so I have good reason to believe that there was more to it than just alcohol]. I wonder what would Buddha would have thought about Spiderman’s way of saving the world .so for last few weeks I was having this strange urge to imagine how a meeting Between Buddha and Spidey will go.

Than one night I had a dream and in the dream I saw Buddha and Spidey Talking to each other. [Trust me on this. I am not making this up. I actually had a dream. And Spidey looked a lot like me]. Like Carry Grant and Deborah Kerr, & Tom Hanks and Meg Ryan they were having this conversation on top of Empire state building. It was well past midnight [Which makes perfect sense since only watchman, BPO workers & super heroes work in the night]. Here is what little I remember of the conversation.

[Spidey]: " So you are Buddha."
[Buddha]: (Smiling) " Yes, I am. But not for you Peter .You can call me Siddhartha"
[Spidey]: Siddhartha, Ah that’s Better. But hey wait a minute. How do you know I am Peter?? . Oh never mind you are god you know everything.
[Buddha]: (Smiling) You can say that. I know a lot more than that.
[Spidey] :Of course you do. What brings you to New York?
[Buddha] :I am everywhere.
[Spidey]: [Smirking] All right .............Why you choose to talk to me? Why now?
[Buddha]: Well I want that we should work together. I believe we can do a lot of good to the world if we come together.
[Spidey]: <>
[Buddha]: [Amused] what is the matter? You think it’s not a good idea?
[Spidey]: Ah. Oh No it’s not like that Holy man.
[Buddha]: Then what is it?
[Spidey]: Well you will find it funny but last time some one asked me to team up with him was when I was talking to ...
[Buddha]: [interrupts] Norman Osborn ...The infamous Green Goblin.
[Spidey] :Oh so you know. Are you watching those stupid movies? Do you actually Buy Tickets??
[Buddha]: [smiling] You are forgetting something Peter! I am Buddha.
[Spidey] :Oh ya how can I do that ...YOU ARE All knowing All seeing,"No-Need to Buy Ticket " Holy Buddha.
[Buddha]: [Laughs] so what you think of my proposal. Lets work together.
[Spidey]: Well I am touched and honored by the offer but it won't be possible? I can't leave New York
[Buddha]: Why??
[Spidey]: Mary Jane.
[Buddha] :Oh. She is a sweet child.
[Spidey] :Oh you know her too. Nice. So you know I can't leave her
[Buddha]: And you can refuse this offer??
[Spidey] :I have no choice.
[Buddha]: Talk sense Peter, I gave up my family for the cause .I am not asking you to do the same.You can always stay in touch over cell phone and we will be coming to New York once is a while ".
[Spidey] :Its Not that easy Holy Man .You doesn’t understand. Time has changed. Long distance relationships don’t work. You will find me on phone all the time. How will I fight the evil of world with one hand??
[Buddha]: Umm...I will buy you a Bluetooth headset.
[Spidey]: Nice try. But it won't work.
[Buddha]: [Irritated] Are you telling me that you will pass on the opportunity to work with me because you can't stand a long distance relationship?
[Spidey] :In a way, Yes.
[Buddha]: You are no super hero
[Spidey]: May be. But at least I won't abandon my wife and family in night like you.
[Buddha]: That was below the belt Peter
[Spidey] :I don't see any belt on your dress
[Buddha] :It's not you. Its Mary Jane speaking in your voice.
[Spidey] :Oh! so you know that too. ...[Rolls his eyes]
[Spidey] :I am sorry Holy man! Please don't be upset. Your cause won't suffer because of my not being with you.
[Buddha] :I AM upset Peter. I need someone to reposition my teachings, to make them more relevant to this generation. And you are just the right Brand Ambassador.
[Spidey]: May be you can go to London and talk to Superman.
[Buddha]: Don’t tell me what to do. I am upset with you. I curse you that in next life you will suffer a long distance relationship.
[Spidey]: No! Holy man, don’t do that.
[Buddha]: You made your choice Peter. I can't take my words back.
[Spidey]: Holy man, don’t do that. What would I do?
[Buddha]: Relax Peter, you are a good guy. You will figure out a way. Remember what you said in the last scene of the fist movie on your life
[Spidey]: What?
[Buddha]: Remember…and you will find your answer. Take care and keep on doing the great work. My blessings are with you.
--------------------------Buddha Vanishes -----------------------------
[Spidey]: [walking and thinking] What did I said in the last scene of Spiderman Part 1. Damn... I shouldn't have slept in movie hall. What was it? Should I call Marry Jane?? No. She will be furious to know that I was sleeping. Gotta think of something else. God Help me...[Looks Up to sky]

[Off screen voice of God] whatever life holds in store for me, I will never forget these words: "With great power comes great responsibility." This is my gift, my curse. Who am I? I'm Spider-man.

[Spidey]: Looks up in sky. Picks up his mask and says to himself: Who am I? I'm Spider-man.

At that moment my dream was broken. I was woken up by the sound of my cell phone. My girlfriend was calling. We had a pleasant conversation. I didn't mention about this dream. For many days to come I was thinking what Spidey would have done after that? I wish that I have the dream again and see the sequel. But it has not happened.

Then one day I found the answer at most unsuspecting place .In a sketchbook. I was having a dinner with my friend Sunandini Basu (AKA Soo). There I happened to see her sketchbook. She seems to have a fixation with another hero. Superman. There was some sketch that showed what possibly could have happened to Spidey after that meeting. I am reproducing it here with her permission.

So now its clear to me that in spite of common goal Buddha and Spidey cannot go hand in hand. But does that make anything easy? No. Moral of the story?

There is no moral I guess. You can't be Spidey and you can't be Buddha either. I will have to search for a new hero. How about being Prashant? Or Sunandini [for girls]. Does that sound like name of a Superhero???

Note: Regular Reader of my Blog might notice a spectacular rise in grammar Accuracy in this post . my Girlfriend did a proofreading of the draft of this post . Sso if you are having a sigh of relief because of lack of spelling and grammar mistakes on this blog than you know whom to Thanks :-)

My Journey Through QLC @ Crescendo

When I posted here last time it was Feb 15th 2007. It’s been more than 60 days since then & I haven't updated my blog. I got a lot of emails from a lot of folks. Some known and some unknown, asking if I was well and why I was not posting frequently? I was touched by the fact that there are people out there whom I never met and who care about me. I gave a lame excuse of being busy but you guys deserve to know the truth. My sincere apologies for what I told you.

So why was I absent? What was keeping me busy? As I admitted above, my work load was not the real reason. Actually, I was upset, I was frustrated, I was cribbing, I was angry with the whole world, I was not able to focus on anything, I fought with my girlfriend a lot without much fault of hers [I am sorry, Sweetheart ].

You must be wondering why?? I was not happy with the pace at which things were moving. Life was getting lethargic, routine and I am getting old. Regular readers of my blog may know about this as I have talked about it here and Here. This time, this feeling was a bit more intense and long lasting.

I turned 29 this march i didn't celebrated my Birthday . Only six people wished me on B'day and three of them were too busy to attend the party. Eventually i had to cancel the celebration . Me and my room mate Jitu went to a restaurant in neighborhood and had some Thai food .

We were planning to launch our website [my dream project] and for a while. We worked hard for it but things came to a standstill as we are still struggling with some design level issues.


Every time I talk to my parents they make it a point to tell me that I am getting older and it would be hard for me to find a girl and get married in next 1-2 years. [Darn!! As if it was easy to find a girl in last 28 years].


What is it that is happening to me?? I think I am suffering from Quarter Life Crisis and now it has reached its peak. That’s why I call this post QLC @ Crescendo.

What Is QLC ???

QLC is a very keenly studied and deeply researched topic in Psychology. You can read a detailed article on Wikipedia here . In layman's language you can define QLC as

" It is when you stop going along with the crowd and start realizing that there are a lot of things about yourself that you didn't know and may or may not like. You start feeling insecure and wonder where you will be in a year or two, but then get scared because you barely know where you are now."

I am feeling exactly like this these days . i want to do a lot of things but sometime i Question myself "is that what i want to do Actually ??, is there any point In long term ? " .

My friend and roommate who was suffering form the same feeling reached the limit of his patience and resigned from his job at world's number one software company. He is study Cinematography now . sometime he is scared , sometime he is thrilled some time he is in deep thoughts but he is alert and not passive . At least life is not passing by for him . He is living it .

But Why I am like that ? or Why i become like that ? i know one thing for sure "I am not the only one . i may be the only one who is outspoken but i am not the only one . "

My Tryst with QLC [story so far..... ]

Don't tell your problems to people: eighty percent don't care; and the other twenty percent are glad you have them.
- Lou Holtz

I tried very hard to fight this. I tried every trick I knew or could think of. I tried many things to get a kick. I am writing some of them here.

• I called my friends and asked them to have dinner/lunch with me. I think I was sort of looking for solace in crowds .Few guys did come but it was a temporary solution.

• I went for a trekking and rafting holiday at Rishikesh. I was under the impression that all the adrenaline from rafting will break the inertia. It worked for a day or two but a few days down the line it was same old story again.

• I went to "The Big Chill" an exotic restaurant at Khan Market, Delhi. A friend had told me that food there is great. I thought of "Food Therapy" and ate few good dishes [like Smoked Chicken Caesar salad with Tuna dressing, Chicken in Red Wine and Rice and Grilled Chicken Breast smeared with Exotic Oriental Gravy]. The food was out of this world but not of any therapeutic value.

• On the recommendation of a friend I tried acupuncture to invoke the source of hidden energy inside me by pinching my self with a pin at three points. It was of no help. Either I didn't pinch hard enough or there was no hidden energy to begin with. But most probably my friend was a lunatic.

• I posted thrice on www.tired.com just so that some holy soul can answer but no response yet.

• I went out and met a few of the so called established, successful and enlightened people in and around Delhi. Hoping that this will give me some perspective on success. i met a leading investment banker from Goldman, an Ex-Mckinsey, a one-time entrepreneur turned VC and all three of them seemed phony to me. They were not inspiring. Of course, they were confident, intelligent and successful but I saw a vacuum.

Some other suggestion which i got from my Well wishers and i [thankfully] never tried

• Try horse riding. It will give you a sense of controlling a living thing. You will feel good and powerful. [ Thank God, they didn't suggest bull fight.]
• Go for a walk in the Himalayas….alone.
• Watch Kill Bill Part 1 & 2 in the same day.
• Become a Buddhist monk.
• Format your hard disk without taking backup. So that you will learn that you can stay alive without anything. Nothing is indispensable. :{E
• Get a tattoo on my arm saying "This too Shall Pass".
• Consult a Vaastu pundit for purifying my room and wear some Astro Stone.
• Spend some time with school going children answering their questions.
• Nurture a plant and talk to it as it grows.

[You see, the world is full of self-confessed psycho-analysts and I am blessed with the company of some of the selected specimen among them.]

A Movie , A Bridge , A White Board and A Fresh Start .

Living here day by day, you think it's the center of the world. You believe nothing will ever change. Then you leave: a year, two years. When you come back, everything changed. The thread's broken. What you came to find isn't there. What was yours is gone. You have to go away for a long time... many years... before you can come back and find your people. The land where you were born. But now, no. It's not possible. Right now you're blinder than I am.

Do as the solider did Totto.....Run away

Alfredo In Cinema Paradiso

Thou shall Follow Me , Let the dead, bury the dead
:~ Jesus Christ

As I was going through all this, Mother Nature was taking its own course and it was dropping a hint, ever so subtly. Trust me, when you want something badly the solution is just around the corner. You just need to want it badly enough. So, one day my roommate, a movie buff, downloaded an Italian movie from Bit Torrent. Its called Cinema Paradiso. This movie was exactly what we needed to see all this time.

Essentially, the message of this movie was that if you want to stand out from your surroundings you need to step out of it first. You can't keep proving yourself by "their" standards and benchmarks and then expect to end up being different from them.

Don't cling to mediocrity. Take risks. Challenge yourself. And most importantly- burn the bridge so there is no way you can go back. When there is no way to go back only then you will fight with your 100%.

So I decided to burn some bridges which were holding me to mediocrity & cemented those bridges which inspire me to move ahead and move up.

I didn't answer phone calls from some of my "friends" who were more of a social liability. I was being used by them time and again but somehow I was not able to prove it. This time I didn't care a damn to prove anything to him. I just decide that I had had enough of him in the name of decency.

I was building some bridge to future. I decide to work hard on our start-up idea. We [me and Jitu ] bought a white board so that we can discuss and brainstorm our start up plans in more details. This white board has in fact become a harbinger of a lot of positive energy and enthusiasm for both of us. We decided to fix some hours for brainstorming daily.

I decided to talk more to my GF and be more caring :) . Apart from my family and a few very close friends, she is the only one from my past I am carrying forward to the future.
There are a few more resolutions like regularity with exercises, regularity in calling mom and a few more.

I realized that I have waited enough for life to start. I will NOW do what I always wanted to do. And friends, I have been into it for a week and the experience so far is very good. I was feeling especially good today. So I decided to share this with you guys.

It's a fresh start. I think it will be a good journey. I will keep you guys posted.

Welcome to the Joyride !!!
:)