Sunday, November 01, 2009

Death of a Helpline

By the time you swear you're his,
Shivering and sighing,
And he vows his passion is
Infinite, undying,
Lady, make a note of this —
One of you is lying.
Dorothy Parker

As I write this , I just get off from a 1.5 hour long telephonic conversation with a female friend of mine ( I know I have your attention NOW , Thanks ) . She was girl friend of a friend of mine ( Sorry for disappointment ).They had a fight and He wasn't answering her repeated calls ( 2 calls in 15 minute to be more precise ) . All through our conversation she was constructing a solid case against her beau, with anecdotal evidence supporting her preliminary and irrefutable hypothesis that Her boyfriend is the most insensitive man ever walked under the sun .Our conversation was abruptly terminated with a crisp sign off message "wait a sec ..HE is calling " . I am not waiting . why ?? Because I know that on Her chronological scale "a sec" will pass only when her boyfriend will be rude to her again and that may take anything between 1 week to 6 month .

This is neither new nor one off incident for me . On last count there were 4-6 such girls who regularly resort to call me in the hour of their "Boy friend inflicted distressed" . Initially , as a cornered concerned friend I used to try tohelp them by listening intently , carefully analyzing the situation and suggesting a Win-Win Paradigm for them and their boy friend . But it didn't helped them one bit . so for past few months I decided to help my self and admitted the futility of my endeavor . I stopped being my rational ,analytical logical self and constrained my self to " You are right " " I understand " " He should understand ", "That must be hard " ," Really ?? I can't believe HE did that" etc .

The trouble is that even that has started taking its toll now . I am tired of this thankless job .I think I can spend my energy on more useful tasks ( like updating this blog more often ).So I have decided to put an end to this . since some of these girls read this space regularly so I am officially announcing the closing of this help line here ( for those who don't read it I will send them the link to the post over email ).

Message is loud and clear I will not be entertaining such calls anymore . This line is and will be [perpetually ] busy.

Aforementioned helpline was one of many humanitarian activities where I got my self involved into without making a conscious choice . But my days of youthful indiscretion are long since over ( or so I am told by my Mom) so i am getting rid of them one by one . Today is the day to mourn the death of this helpline .

Funeral Speech:
I can call for souls from the heaven & ghost from hell, So can you.
That is not important, what is important is, Will they come?
William Shakespeare In Hamlet

Ladies and their boyfriends

We are here to bid final adieu to this unpaid job of mine in which you pushed me on the name of our friendship.Its a norm that on funeral you talk about the good and bad time you had with the deceased.share those learning you had from him. Everything in life teaches us something but whether we learn it or not is optional . same is true for this experience too .I have some fond memories of my time with this helpline . I learned a lot of things from it . It will be terrible loss if all this learning is lost. So for posterity's sake I am listing some of my conclusion here.

  • Your intentions and sincerity is useless if it originate from a sense of compromise somewhere deep down . Glory of sacrifice is often overrated.
  • No amount of Display of effect can't produce the cause. Be Honest to yourself and don't deny the reality . if the feeling is not there anymore than admit it .
  • Avoid Long Distance relationships. they are only good for cellphone company .still if you got to do it then use Skype . Why ?? because when the damn thing will eventually blast ( usually its a question of When ..not If ) you will find your self only emotionally broke not financially broke.
  • Watch your words to know where the relationship is heading. Avoid few words like plague. Excessive use of word "SPACE" is most reliable indicator of upcoming disaster .
  • If you think your life is boring than its probably because you are not doing anything interesting . Not because your partner is not showing enough interest in you.
  • There is a difference between missing someone and your obsessive need of companionship to compensate for your lack of purpose in life . understand it before its too late .
  • Its never too late . you will always find someone else and it will be Equally( if not more) hard to adjust with him/her.
and lastly

  • When you call someone at 2 'o' Clock in night to tell your problems.He deserve a proper "Thank you"
So "Thank you" and I hope not to hear from you again .

PS: This post was written at 4 in morning with a part humorous and part frustrated state of mind .


Anonymous said...

haha..... finally

Anubha said...

nice post!!
was fun reading it ;)

Shikha said...

Glad that you finally put a stop to "taking-me-granted" syndrome. But, you stretched it a bit too far.
The true colors of thankless people can be seen in 2 - 3 meetings.
Hats off to your patience with these people. If I would have been in your shoes, I would have been much crystal clear in my approach and would have said that on their face (a rule of saaf kaho sukhi raho - I have started following from past 4- 5 years). Writing in in blog.. that's very humble a way to spread the word.
Am pretty late to ask about it... but does this post worked??