देखा था उसको बचपन में , पाठशाला के आँगन में
वो भैया के संग आती थी , छुप छुप के मिटटी खाती थी.
काजल से सनी आँखे मोटि, वो लाल रिबन और दो चोटी
मेरे मन को बड़ी भाति थी ,जब बात करो तुतलाती थी,
सोची ना कभी कोई बात ओछी, सिर्फ एक बार उसकी नाक पोछी
में शंकित ,मोहित , स्तब्ध रहा , और प्रेम मेरा निशब्द रहा
कुछ वर्ष गए ,वो फिर से मिली , लगती थी कुछ बदली बदली
वो संस्कृत मुझे पढ़ाती थी , खुद को मैडम कहलाती थी .
में जब उससे चांटा खता था , तो अगले दिन ना नहाता था
मेने संस्कृत में टॉप किया ,किस्मत ने प्लान फ्लॉप किया
वो जॉब छोड़ कर चली गयी , मेरी महनत यूँ छली गयी
में शंकित ,मोहित , स्त्ब्थ रहा , और प्रेम मेरा निशब्द रहा
कुछ वर्ष गए , हम किशोर हुए ..आस पास वालों से बोर हुए
हम थे योवन की चोखट पे , जब देखा उससे चित्र पट पे
वो बेल सद्रश्य बल खाती थी , नायक से चिपटी जाती थी
बारिश में गाना गति थी , ना पूछो क्या क्या कर जाती थी
मेने नायक को कॉपी किया ,पर बन ना सका उसका पिया
में शंकित ,मोहित , स्तब्ध रहा , और प्रेम मेरा निशब्द रहा .
कालेजे आया हम युवा हुए , लगता था जैसे खुदा हुए
हमारे दिल में एक सपना था , हमने दुनिया को बदलना था
हम तडित मेघ सुनामी थे , बदनाम बहुत पर नामी थे
हम थे बड़े क्रांति कारी , वो आयी बनके विपदा भारी
आँखे उसकी नूरानी थी ,वो पापा की गुडिया रानी थी .
कॉलेज में जब वो आती थे , शर्माती थी सकुचाती थी ,
किसी से भी नहीं बतियाती थी , और मुझे देख मुड जाती थी .
था उसमे ऐसा आकर्षण , जैसे के दिन की पहली किरण
में प्रिंसिपल से लड़ जाता था , पर उससे देख हकलाता था
में शंकित ,मोहित , स्तब्ध रहा , और प्रेम मेरा निशब्द रहा .
फिर दिन बीते में बड़ा हुआ , आपने पेरो पे खड़ा हुआ
देखी जीवन की धुप छांव , फिर आयी वो चंचला दबे पाँव.
अब मिली मुझे वो , मत पूछो कहाँ , में उसे पा नहीं सकता जहाँ
अब मैंने जब उसको देखा , तो देखी एक लक्ष्मण रेखा
है किसी और के वो संग खड़ी , बातें करती है बड़ी बड़ी
जीवन का अर्थ समझाती है , पर देख तिमिर डर जाती है
मेने ना कभी इज़हार किया , उसने ने ना कभी इंकार किया
में शंकित ,मोहित , स्तब्ध रहा , और प्रेम मेरा निशब्द रहा .
अब दिन ढलता है कार्यालय में , और रात कटे मदिरालय में
अब इनकम टैक्स में भरता हूँ , प्रति वर्ष तीस प्रतिशत मरता हूँ
एक दिन केश राशी ,झड जायेगी और तोंद बहार आ जायेगी
एक छवि मुझे सतायेगी , रातों में मुझे जगाएगी
क्यों शंकित ,मोहित , स्तब्ध रहा , क्यों प्रेम मेरा निशब्द रहा .
This is something I wrote this weekend . a poem partially inspired by real life . It document my search for perfection . I hope you like it .
Labels: poem poetry, निशब्द
Rocking hai guru
wow....
awesome..
Excellent expression indeed [pardon me for sounding like an authority :)], but yes, truly impressed.
This is one of those poems I'd like to read frequently, coming to this blog time and again.
An exemplary literary beauty and a delight to read, to say the least.
woww bhaiya 2 beer ka shia effect nazar aa raha hai.Gr8 gud going.It shows daru zindgi ki saari galti ka ehsaas dila deti hai haule haule...hehhee.
wow!!
i have no words to express the emotions into
but this is what going to be the story of most guys who are good
very gud prashant............. well it was my luck tht i heard it when it was freshly done.....
What the hell it is; how can you write such a nice poem. You know, I have been thinking from last 10 mins how to appreciate this creativity and rhythm, but then I don't have words to describe it.
I am sorry, but this is just too good and I cant justify, how impressive it is.
Hi Prashant
I am a regular reader of your blog but never commented before .We know eachother but you don't need to know who I am . but I want to tell you something I loved the poem and forwarded it to my husband. He is not in to poetry and stuff . but HE said "Its my story " . and I guess his eyes were little wet.
Thanks :)
Hey prashant, its nice.
here are my few suggestions:
1. when i start reading the poem and i go through the 1st paragraph - it really comes to me as one of those interesting poem
2. when i reach 3-4 paragraph i loose interest in the poem. Why??
I'll tell you :
(a) Its too lengthy. When I'm reading a poem which is anywhere beyond 4-5 paragraphs, people are only going to survive through it easily when either it rhymes in the same sequence throughout or it something which appeals heavily.
(b) this poem reflects your journey from childhood - "from the time you me that girl" till date.... but the synchronization of age is not proper.
Somewhere it seems- you are talking about adulthood, while according to the growth of the poem it should have been manhood
On the other hand, where it should have been school boy, according to poem its a college student.
There's lack of age sync.
3. While the thought process is clear, but in the poem, it doesn't reflect the same.
4. Also because, Hindi is our mother-tongue so I guess, it easily prick when either framing of sentence is wrong or lines don't rhyme**
** Agreed that poem's don't always need to rhyme. But in such cases, something lese needs to balance it out, so that audience don't feel that something was lacking
I am not an ardent poem lover. But as a layman, these are my thoughts. They might help you. If anything you don't feel like grabbing, just ignore it.
Thanks and all the best.
Awaiting your next piece of art!
Cheers
Sandeep Bose
आलम पनाह तुसी ग्रेट हो , तोहफा कबूल हो
very touching very true ;) and simply AWESOME........
great..coooooll...award winning...
what a touching poem prashant ..your innocence and sincerity shows .I hope you finally get your girl. do let us know when that happen.
best wishes
hi boss
I am from ECK . I read ur blog regularly . you write very well .this is your best poem so far. sorry for advicing but I would suggest that you should have told her your feelings.
~Ravi
:D well captured Prashant!!
It flows like a river ... n those shadows in the river can be identified as a reader.. Well captured indeed!!!
kya baat hai prashant ...bahut acche..tu bilkul nahin badla aaj bhee utna he sahi likhta hai yaar .gitesh sir ne bataya mujhe tere blog ke bare mein . He read it regularly .
who had thought of this . be like this forever yaar .
I think I know the college one
but no idea abt schools one ;)But you expressed it well keep it up
Guru: On a lighter note, i guess issue timing ka hai .
On a serious note: " Missing a train is painful only if you run after it "
masla ye hai ki hum beech ke kisi note pe atak jaate hai ya utha patak karte rehte hai...
long story short: Pay attention to the side-notes !!!
Awesome! Just loved it. As they say 'simplicity main adbhoot shakti hoti hai' i guess same is true for ur poem...u hav penned ek choti si love story wch resonate with very one out here n I must say ur hindi is really too gud...
@Sandeep : long poem? disagree. Completely. Out of sync? yeah. May be but perfection si boring right? :)
very nice Prashant . I didn't knew you write poems too.
pk
क्यों शंकित, मोहित स्तब्ध रहा, क्यों प्रेम तेरा निशब्द रहा,
क्यों प्रेम उसे तू करता रहा, क्यों कहने से तू डरता रहा
शब्दो का बाज़ीगर तू, क्यों इतने दिन "निशब्द" रहा ???
Regards
Navrang
http://navrangblog.blogspot.com
Thank you Very much Guys (and girls too) . I am glad that my story resonated with you .I hope your's had a happy ending :) .
very nice indeed ... Hope you find her one day
@anon : Thanks ..Finding her was never much of a problem ..as you might have noticed in poem, she keep poping up from time to time. problem is getting her to stay :)
well said of "the well beloved"
@the_who: :-)
I was afraid you would say that.I hope it doesn't end that way.
kaviraj ..bahut maja aaya apki kavita padh ke . but seriously meri baat mano shadi karlo .
~Rohit
Thanks Rohit,I appreciate your concern :)
very nice Prashant ... this is amazing ..your best work i guess ..may be better than Kala Badal one you used to recite in college . have you published it anywhere ? Keep Writing .
Best
Thanks Anshul . No I haven't published that poem online . i keep getting the request so very often . I guess i will do it someday ..
Prashant i really like ur poem. it's good, i think. and i am not an authority, but i can say that coz i am also a part-time poet. :D
and for Sandeep Bose, this one
http://xkcd.com/406/
Thanks Alaknada
I am glad you liked it .Always Good to have feedback from a fellow poet.
and that XKCD thing is funny ;)
really yaar ! Tumhari kavitaon ne dil ko choo liya hai aaj ..........its really nice ...Keep it up.
awesome poem
vaah kaviraj vaah!
good
AWeSOME MAN !!!!
truley we can relate to this poem.
its picture perfect description of our (GUYS) childhood to till now.
Hi, a wonderfully written and i was smiling bigger after every paragraph! wisely chosen words, wonderfully captured emotions, covered up each age beautifully :) keep Going
All the best!
P.s. I am still humming the words :D