When Bhuddha Meets Spidey

No , Jack Daniel was No Saint . But He did Started something of a Religon

Tagline of Jack Daniel Whiskey

In previous post I told you about my childhood fascination with Gautam Buddha and how I aspired to leave world in search of truth. I also mentioned that very soon I would be running out of my long-standing excuse of not going on the journey. Buddha was one influence.

There were few more Heroes of mine. Chacha Chaudhary, Super commando Dhruv, Oshin, Siddharth Basu, Vyomkesh Bakshi, & Spiderman. [ This is what happens when you spend most of your time in front of TV while your pals are playing "Gulli Danda" in street]. Out of all these characters Spiderman was the most influencing figure. So much so that my mom used to tell us that "if you don't complete your homework by 4:00 PM, I won't let you watch Spiderman" and I tell you there was not a single occasion when we missed it [provided that there was no power cut]. Such was the madness that my brother and me used to sing along the title song of that serial. We didn't actually know the lyrics but someone told us that toward the end of each stanza it says, "Here comes the Spiderman "and that was enough for us. We use to speak some gibberish all along just to say, "Here comes the Spiderman” just at the right time.

It was not just his superhero acts like casting web, punching hard, beating BAD guy and flying on threads, which made him my favorite. For me at least, part of his appeal was also due to the fact that his alter ego Peter Parker was a total loser in real life. Bullied by guys, good at studies, girls respected him but none of the damsels love him. I possessed exactly the same characteristic. [This respect Vs love problem is chronic in my life. will write a full post on it someday]. Anyway, so for a good part of my school life I was secretly wishing that one day some spider will bite me and I will morph in to some kind of superhero. But like rest of the females around me, females of spider species too, didn't find me worthy of a bite. All I was asking for was just one bite. Imagine how deprived of emotions they were [both spider and girls]...To hell with both of them...

At times I felt that teachings of Buddha & Spiderman were pulling me in opposite directions. Which was strange because I was under the impression that both of them were embodiment of the same principal." To think beyond your own narrow self interest, to think about your fellow human being and do something for them". But this knowledge doesn't make my quest any easier. Then one day while I was having a beer I had a flash of insight. [This usually happen after third bottle but that it happened on after first, so I have good reason to believe that there was more to it than just alcohol]. I wonder what would Buddha would have thought about Spiderman’s way of saving the world .so for last few weeks I was having this strange urge to imagine how a meeting Between Buddha and Spidey will go.

Than one night I had a dream and in the dream I saw Buddha and Spidey Talking to each other. [Trust me on this. I am not making this up. I actually had a dream. And Spidey looked a lot like me]. Like Carry Grant and Deborah Kerr, & Tom Hanks and Meg Ryan they were having this conversation on top of Empire state building. It was well past midnight [Which makes perfect sense since only watchman, BPO workers & super heroes work in the night]. Here is what little I remember of the conversation.

[Spidey]: " So you are Buddha."
[Buddha]: (Smiling) " Yes, I am. But not for you Peter .You can call me Siddhartha"
[Spidey]: Siddhartha, Ah that’s Better. But hey wait a minute. How do you know I am Peter?? . Oh never mind you are god you know everything.
[Buddha]: (Smiling) You can say that. I know a lot more than that.
[Spidey] :Of course you do. What brings you to New York?
[Buddha] :I am everywhere.
[Spidey]: [Smirking] All right .............Why you choose to talk to me? Why now?
[Buddha]: Well I want that we should work together. I believe we can do a lot of good to the world if we come together.
[Spidey]: <>
[Buddha]: [Amused] what is the matter? You think it’s not a good idea?
[Spidey]: Ah. Oh No it’s not like that Holy man.
[Buddha]: Then what is it?
[Spidey]: Well you will find it funny but last time some one asked me to team up with him was when I was talking to ...
[Buddha]: [interrupts] Norman Osborn ...The infamous Green Goblin.
[Spidey] :Oh so you know. Are you watching those stupid movies? Do you actually Buy Tickets??
[Buddha]: [smiling] You are forgetting something Peter! I am Buddha.
[Spidey] :Oh ya how can I do that ...YOU ARE All knowing All seeing,"No-Need to Buy Ticket " Holy Buddha.
[Buddha]: [Laughs] so what you think of my proposal. Lets work together.
[Spidey]: Well I am touched and honored by the offer but it won't be possible? I can't leave New York
[Buddha]: Why??
[Spidey]: Mary Jane.
[Buddha] :Oh. She is a sweet child.
[Spidey] :Oh you know her too. Nice. So you know I can't leave her
[Buddha]: And you can refuse this offer??
[Spidey] :I have no choice.
[Buddha]: Talk sense Peter, I gave up my family for the cause .I am not asking you to do the same.You can always stay in touch over cell phone and we will be coming to New York once is a while ".
[Spidey] :Its Not that easy Holy Man .You doesn’t understand. Time has changed. Long distance relationships don’t work. You will find me on phone all the time. How will I fight the evil of world with one hand??
[Buddha]: Umm...I will buy you a Bluetooth headset.
[Spidey]: Nice try. But it won't work.
[Buddha]: [Irritated] Are you telling me that you will pass on the opportunity to work with me because you can't stand a long distance relationship?
[Spidey] :In a way, Yes.
[Buddha]: You are no super hero
[Spidey]: May be. But at least I won't abandon my wife and family in night like you.
[Buddha]: That was below the belt Peter
[Spidey] :I don't see any belt on your dress
[Buddha] :It's not you. Its Mary Jane speaking in your voice.
[Spidey] :Oh! so you know that too. ...[Rolls his eyes]
[Spidey] :I am sorry Holy man! Please don't be upset. Your cause won't suffer because of my not being with you.
[Buddha] :I AM upset Peter. I need someone to reposition my teachings, to make them more relevant to this generation. And you are just the right Brand Ambassador.
[Spidey]: May be you can go to London and talk to Superman.
[Buddha]: Don’t tell me what to do. I am upset with you. I curse you that in next life you will suffer a long distance relationship.
[Spidey]: No! Holy man, don’t do that.
[Buddha]: You made your choice Peter. I can't take my words back.
[Spidey]: Holy man, don’t do that. What would I do?
[Buddha]: Relax Peter, you are a good guy. You will figure out a way. Remember what you said in the last scene of the fist movie on your life
[Spidey]: What?
[Buddha]: Remember…and you will find your answer. Take care and keep on doing the great work. My blessings are with you.
--------------------------Buddha Vanishes -----------------------------
[Spidey]: [walking and thinking] What did I said in the last scene of Spiderman Part 1. Damn... I shouldn't have slept in movie hall. What was it? Should I call Marry Jane?? No. She will be furious to know that I was sleeping. Gotta think of something else. God Help me...[Looks Up to sky]

[Off screen voice of God] whatever life holds in store for me, I will never forget these words: "With great power comes great responsibility." This is my gift, my curse. Who am I? I'm Spider-man.

[Spidey]: Looks up in sky. Picks up his mask and says to himself: Who am I? I'm Spider-man.

At that moment my dream was broken. I was woken up by the sound of my cell phone. My girlfriend was calling. We had a pleasant conversation. I didn't mention about this dream. For many days to come I was thinking what Spidey would have done after that? I wish that I have the dream again and see the sequel. But it has not happened.

Then one day I found the answer at most unsuspecting place .In a sketchbook. I was having a dinner with my friend Sunandini Basu (AKA Soo). There I happened to see her sketchbook. She seems to have a fixation with another hero. Superman. There was some sketch that showed what possibly could have happened to Spidey after that meeting. I am reproducing it here with her permission.

So now its clear to me that in spite of common goal Buddha and Spidey cannot go hand in hand. But does that make anything easy? No. Moral of the story?

There is no moral I guess. You can't be Spidey and you can't be Buddha either. I will have to search for a new hero. How about being Prashant? Or Sunandini [for girls]. Does that sound like name of a Superhero???

Note: Regular Reader of my Blog might notice a spectacular rise in grammar Accuracy in this post . my Girlfriend did a proofreading of the draft of this post . Sso if you are having a sigh of relief because of lack of spelling and grammar mistakes on this blog than you know whom to Thanks :-)