Wednesday, February 11, 2009

My Little Pre Valentine Encounter - Part 2

So in my last post I told you about my little  (pre) valentine adventure . here is the sequel to the same .As I mentioned in  my previous post that this year V day seems to have arrived  a little too soon  and with a little more bang than usual . Those wired gifts and absurd discount offers are only one side of the story . other valentine related issue which is  hot topic of the week is our stance toward public display of  affection(PDA).   What this whole PDA debate eventually  boils down to is the question  that  " If a couple wants to do some activity  like holding hands , hugging, kissing and stuff in public .do they have a right to do that ?Do our "culture" allow that ?"   (just FYI , I recently learned that  super set of such activities  is collectively referred as "kooche koo"-ing). 

Everyone seems to have an opinion about it .A little conflict is brewing up in  Bangalore where Sri Rama Sene chief  Mr.Pramod Muthalik thinks that V Day is not an Indian thing and its polluting our culture .He says that if he find any couple dating or doing this PDA thing on VDay  He will be forcing them to get married on the spot .  To counter this threat My friend and fellow blogger Sanjukta Basu has started  Hug Karo and Pub Bharo Andolan  in  Bangalore. They will be doing a A Free Hug campaign on 14th Feb 2009 in Bangalore. They  would be going out in groups offering free hugs to the people of Bangalore, carrying placards like, ‘Happy Valentines Day, I love you, Hug me, ‘Public Display of violence is not part of Indian culture’ etc.  

Nisha Susan is doing a Pink Chaddi Campaign . their slogan is "This year let us send the Sri Ram Sena some love. Let us send them some PINK CHADDIS.". I must say that  these are one of the most innovative ways of protesting and fighting for a cause that  I have  seen in my life .Allthough I am not in bangalore but  I support Sanjukta and Nisha in their cause . This is  an out and out violation of our freedom and if I have my way I would send that joker to his rightful place . A Mental Aslyum . Its a shame to our democracy , to our freedom.     

This is not to say that PDA don't cause some discomfort to people around it do but that doesn't give anyone a right to curb freedom and force them to tie the knot. Living in Noida its very very common to witness this PDA stuff all around me and honestly if two consenting adults are involved than  who gives a damn .I have NEVER seen a couple crossing lines of decency . We don't need this rama sene brand Moral Policing . 

Funny thing is that while I am totally comfortable with the PDA  thing in cafes and pubs what makes me slightly uncomfortable is the torture of listening to their conversation . if you ever got a chance to sit next /close  to a  "couple" in cafe and were able to listen to their conversations you will understand what I mean . These conversations are hilarious yet torturing . Hilarious because usually there is  very tiny elements of  sense in them ( and both parties know it ) and Torturing because you are not supposed to laugh on the spot . Controlling the laughter is hard part.  I was witness to one such conversation last weekend . that was my second adventure . 

So after my meeting with Ravi and his fiance at Gift Gallery  I proceeded to kaffia for my weekend book reading dose . I took the table overlooking the street . my fave place on their balcony . I ordered  a coffee and started reading . after 10 min or so a waiter interrupted me . 

[Waiter] Excuse me sir ! would you mind sitting on someother table .
[Me] Why ?

[waiter]( pointing to a girl standing near the counter)  M'am ,  Wants to sits here 
[Me] Than Go and Tell your "M'am" that if She wants to sit here she will have to request it herself .and don't YOU come back again as her attorney

( After two min of soul searching she walked to me and said )

[Girl] Excuse Me! 
[Me]Yes !
[Girl] Would you mind shifting to other table . Actually I am waiting for my Boyfriend and I can keep an eye on road from here .Plus  its his fave table  
[Me] You want to delkho rastaa of your BF ?
[Girl] (Blushing) Yes !
[Me] WoW Must be a New boyfriend ( you see i was on roll that day)
[Girl] (seemingly uncomfortable becuase this talk is going longer than her expectation)
[Me] just kidding . Its my pleasure . 

I moved to other side of balcony and resumed reading .In between I happen to glanced at her once. She had an extraordinary multi tasking capabilities  . she was  waiting ,talking to someone on cellphone,looking at the menu card and glancing at her laptop screen once in a while .In between she found time to look at me also ,  on that moment , I resumed my reading ;) .

After some time Her Boyfriend entered the scene . A cute looking Hunk in Body hugging Tee Shirt .somewhat like Shaheed Kapoor  only slightly taller.   One sight of his  biceps  and I understood that its best to focus on my reading  . that point onward I was like the proverbial "Fly on The wall" . this is what little I heard of  their conversation when there volume was high  and my scholarly interpretation of the same.

After couple of min waiter arrives 

[waiter] your order sir..? 
[Boy] (looking at menu ) Baccha Kya khayega ? 
[Girl] (looking at her menu card ) aaj baacha kunch nahin kaheyga . aaj baccha dieting pe hai 
[Boy] Oh fir tou mein bhee nahin khaunga kuch 
[Girl] No baby ..tum khao na 
[Boy] No tum nahin to hum nahin ...... Atleast  juice le lo na 
[Girl] OK . I will have orange juice , make it sweet and a Cesar salad . happy ?  ( by god . Kya ehsaan hai ) 
[Boy] I will have a Veg Cheese Sandwich and Coffee

(waiter leaves )

[Girl] that was very sweet of you baby 
[Boy ] Anything for you baccha  ( by god kya insaan hai ) 
Neither the guy , nor the girl not even waiter found anything wierd about the whole conversation  . Chances are the even you won't find this odd. But  if you apply a little mind you will realize the comic nature of situation. First of all  they were  addressing each other as "baby" and "baccha" . unless both of them are suffering from some sort of severe puberty disorder ( very unlikely)  I don't see any reason why someone would like to be called that .  Second , girl has studiend the menu for full ten minute before the hunk arrived so why did she need to look again . Height of absurdity was that why would someone who is on diet to cut callories  would like to go for orange juice that too sweet (proof ). I guess they were really baccha and baby .

--------------for next 5-7 minute their volume was blissfully low . I was almost getting my pace of reading back , when I heard some panicked voice    

[Boy] kya hua baccha ... what happened ?
[Girl]  sob sob ..khhr khrr  sob sob ( khrr khrr sound was probably originating  from her nose)
[Boy]  bataou tou sahi ..whats the matter ?
[Girl] hich hich ..sob sob ....
[Boy] at least tell me.... did I said something wrong ? I am sorry . 

That went on for next 2 min or so . waiter sensed some trouble and came to them . than finally she wiped her nose ,took a sip from glass of water. and spoke .All three of us ( the guy , Me and waiter ) were listening intently 

[Girl] Mujhe lagta tha ....sob sob.....kee tum mujhe pasand nahin karte . khrr khrr 
[Boy] oh stupid girl . fir aisa kabhi mat sochna .
[Girl] hooo. hooo ho... sob sob 

Guy reachs over to give her a reassuring hug .waiter took a sigh of relief  (or dissapointment ?) and returned back to  his chores .Guy looked at me and smiled in such a sweet but apologizing way that even my atheist heart said a prayer to god  asking to give him strength . I know He will be needing it . 

So Now it was official that  this was a newly blossomed romance.Given their age and  situation  I won't say that there was anything odd in that .But one could have expected from girl to atleast wait till their order is served and her poor "baby" had something inside his stomach.  I don't think He has had his breakfast that morning .Anyways after little cajoling  sanity ensued again on that balcony . very soon waiter brought their order . 

Even though it was evident that couple was ok with my presence still I  felt that I might be invading  their privacy so I asked waiter to bring my bill . It was kinda getting hard for me to surpress my smile at the event . while I was waiting for it I secretly hoped  that I won't have to hear  sweet chirping of  lovebirds anymore .But after a few second of getting "normal"  there came the knock out punch and I wasn't able control my laughter despite my best effort   

[Girl]....why did you waited for so long ? 
[Boy] well.... sach bolun 
[Girl] haan  ?
[Boy] I thot i will do it after 6-7 months of body building . I wanted to impress you with my biceps 
[Girl] (blushing and punching on his arm) I Like your biceps 
that was it . I burst in to laughter.....

[me] I am sorry but I couldn't control it i am sorry . 
[Girl] [Boy] Blushing smiling 
[me] I m sorry guys..I guess i should move . You guys look good together .god bless you. 
[Girl] [Boy] Thanks :) 
I payed my bill at counter ..and walked my way home smiling and giggling on the events of the day . I sincerely wished those kids a happy life  and why not?  thinking of their actions still brings a smile on my face . what else you can hope from complete strangers . Thus ended an interesting day of my life .

photo courtesy Zazonga


Rohan said...

"one could have expected from girl to atleast wait till their order is served and her poor "baby" had something inside his stomach. "

who knows .. shayad wo uske pyar ka imtehan le rahe thee ;)

Prashant Singh said...

@Rohan : Yeah right . I hope he cleared the exam .

Shivanand Sharma said...

Write about technology - this girlish stuff isn't fun for the global audience. And why no adsense?

Prashant Singh said...

@shivanand :thanks for feedback . so you are interested in reading my technology writing hmm check out my next post .very soon .

Anonymous said...

yes @Prashant Singh like @shivanand do "I became a dad. Well nothing technical about this" :) there should be some tech stuff. have fun guys, tech or non tech.

Prashant Singh said...


:) . i love tech and personal rambling equally .

the who said...

"even my atheist heart said a prayer to god asking to give him strength"
a collection of your memoirs jotted down in your witty expression could make a bestseller! and please dont stop posting the "girlish stuff" because those are the only really long posts in the entire blogosphere (besides my own blog, ofcourse :P ) that have the power to keep me rapt in attention till the very last word.

Prashant Singh said...

@the_who: thanks for the kind words. I am glad u notice that line. It was high point of narrative ( in my pov). Have u read part 1 also?

Manoj Awasthi said...

On "Bachha & Baby" and your comments about it -

I think you get too judgemental here. It's alright Prashant! Closest thing that probably you can map it to is like your father or may be uncle calling you bachcha even when you're beyond that bachcha age. Putting rational glass everywhere might end up as an interesting read but takes juice out of life.

Most conversations overheard are funny I would say (ruling out conversations which actually are group discussions). They most of the time don't make sense. You can recall any conversations you had with your friends - you would laugh for no reasons or for reasons which are not rational. It is alright.

You wrote "Chances are the even you won't find this odd.". I don't!

Still, it is an excellent read!

Curious MInd said...

Nice post dude!!!.

Now its ur turn to tell ur baby how much u love her bacha.

I wonder why I was never be so stupid n simple n happy.

Prashant Singh said...

"Now its ur turn to tell ur baby how much u love her bacha"
her bacha??
dude unless there is a package deal or some thing I will prefer starting with loving her first .

Curious MInd said...

Yeah bhi package deal chahiye?... Huge expectations dude...agar 'baby' to pataa chal gaya to tu gayaa...abhi 10 din hain focus on her varna teri murad puri ho jayegi. n yes stop reading between the line.

Prashant Singh said...

"abhi 10 din hain focus on her varna teri murad puri ho jayegi."

funny you said that ..

BTW I am seriously thinking of going to some hill station or benaras type place this V day . you won't believe what kind of pink madness is happening in malls these days . looks like eventually they will be serving black coffee in pink mugs this year

Shesha Chaturvedi said...

Haha that is so mean of you! I enjoyed the read. Though it is the pampering between two people to make the other one feel special. But for the third person like you or if It would have been me- we find it amusing! I was laughing after reading the first bit of their conversation! Nice post but no judging- your girl (whenever she arrives) may end up calling you baccha/baby and all the mushiness in between :P
(it surely seem like teenage love)