So in my last post I told you about my little (pre) valentine adventure . here is the sequel to the same .As I mentioned in my previous post that this year V day seems to have arrived a little too soon and with a little more bang than usual . Those wired gifts and absurd discount offers are only one side of the story . other valentine related issue which is hot topic of the week is our stance toward public display of affection(PDA). What this whole PDA debate eventually boils down to is the question that " If a couple wants to do some activity like holding hands , hugging, kissing and stuff in public .do they have a right to do that ?Do our "culture" allow that ?" (just FYI , I recently learned that super set of such activities is collectively referred as "kooche koo"-ing).
Everyone seems to have an opinion about it .A little conflict is brewing up in Bangalore where Sri Rama Sene chief Mr.Pramod Muthalik thinks that V Day is not an Indian thing and its polluting our culture .He says that if he find any couple dating or doing this PDA thing on VDay He will be forcing them to get married on the spot . To counter this threat My friend and fellow blogger Sanjukta Basu has started Hug Karo and Pub Bharo Andolan in Bangalore. They will be doing a A Free Hug campaign on 14th Feb 2009 in Bangalore. They would be going out in groups offering free hugs to the people of Bangalore, carrying placards like, ‘Happy Valentines Day, I love you, Hug me, ‘Public Display of violence is not part of Indian culture’ etc.
Nisha Susan is doing a Pink Chaddi Campaign . their slogan is "This year let us send the Sri Ram Sena some love. Let us send them some PINK CHADDIS.". I must say that these are one of the most innovative ways of protesting and fighting for a cause that I have seen in my life .Allthough I am not in bangalore but I support Sanjukta and Nisha in their cause . This is an out and out violation of our freedom and if I have my way I would send that joker to his rightful place . A Mental Aslyum . Its a shame to our democracy , to our freedom.
This is not to say that PDA don't cause some discomfort to people around it do but that doesn't give anyone a right to curb freedom and force them to tie the knot. Living in Noida its very very common to witness this PDA stuff all around me and honestly if two consenting adults are involved than who gives a damn .I have NEVER seen a couple crossing lines of decency . We don't need this rama sene brand Moral Policing .
Funny thing is that while I am totally comfortable with the PDA thing in cafes and pubs what makes me slightly uncomfortable is the torture of listening to their conversation . if you ever got a chance to sit next /close to a "couple" in cafe and were able to listen to their conversations you will understand what I mean . These conversations are hilarious yet torturing . Hilarious because usually there is very tiny elements of sense in them ( and both parties know it ) and Torturing because you are not supposed to laugh on the spot . Controlling the laughter is hard part. I was witness to one such conversation last weekend . that was my second adventure .
So after my meeting with Ravi and his fiance at Gift Gallery I proceeded to kaffia for my weekend book reading dose . I took the table overlooking the street . my fave place on their balcony . I ordered a coffee and started reading . after 10 min or so a waiter interrupted me .
[Waiter] Excuse me sir ! would you mind sitting on someother table .[Me] Why ?[waiter]( pointing to a girl standing near the counter) M'am , Wants to sits here[Me] Than Go and Tell your "M'am" that if She wants to sit here she will have to request it herself .and don't YOU come back again as her attorney( After two min of soul searching she walked to me and said )[Girl] Excuse Me![Me]Yes ![Girl] Would you mind shifting to other table . Actually I am waiting for my Boyfriend and I can keep an eye on road from here .Plus its his fave table[Me] You want to delkho rastaa of your BF ?[Girl] (Blushing) Yes ![Me] WoW Must be a New boyfriend ( you see i was on roll that day)[Girl] (seemingly uncomfortable becuase this talk is going longer than her expectation)[Me] just kidding . Its my pleasure .
I moved to other side of balcony and resumed reading .In between I happen to glanced at her once. She had an extraordinary multi tasking capabilities . she was waiting ,talking to someone on cellphone,looking at the menu card and glancing at her laptop screen once in a while .In between she found time to look at me also , on that moment , I resumed my reading ;) .
After some time Her Boyfriend entered the scene . A cute looking Hunk in Body hugging Tee Shirt .somewhat like Shaheed Kapoor only slightly taller. One sight of his biceps and I understood that its best to focus on my reading . that point onward I was like the proverbial "Fly on The wall" . this is what little I heard of their conversation when there volume was high and my scholarly interpretation of the same.
After couple of min waiter arrives
[waiter] your order sir..?[Boy] (looking at menu ) Baccha Kya khayega ?[Girl] (looking at her menu card ) aaj baacha kunch nahin kaheyga . aaj baccha dieting pe hai[Boy] Oh fir tou mein bhee nahin khaunga kuch[Girl] No baby ..tum khao na[Boy] No tum nahin to hum nahin ...... Atleast juice le lo na[Girl] OK . I will have orange juice , make it sweet and a Cesar salad . happy ? ( by god . Kya ehsaan hai )[Boy] I will have a Veg Cheese Sandwich and Coffee(waiter leaves )[Girl] that was very sweet of you baby[Boy ] Anything for you baccha ( by god kya insaan hai )
Neither the guy , nor the girl not even waiter found anything wierd about the whole conversation . Chances are the even you won't find this odd. But if you apply a little mind you will realize the comic nature of situation. First of all they were addressing each other as "baby" and "baccha" . unless both of them are suffering from some sort of severe puberty disorder ( very unlikely) I don't see any reason why someone would like to be called that . Second , girl has studiend the menu for full ten minute before the hunk arrived so why did she need to look again . Height of absurdity was that why would someone who is on diet to cut callories would like to go for orange juice that too sweet (proof ). I guess they were really baccha and baby .
--------------for next 5-7 minute their volume was blissfully low . I was almost getting my pace of reading back , when I heard some panicked voice
[Boy] kya hua baccha ... what happened ?[Girl] sob sob ..khhr khrr sob sob ( khrr khrr sound was probably originating from her nose)[Boy] bataou tou sahi ..whats the matter ?[Girl] hich hich ..sob sob ....[Boy] at least tell me.... did I said something wrong ? I am sorry .That went on for next 2 min or so . waiter sensed some trouble and came to them . than finally she wiped her nose ,took a sip from glass of water. and spoke .All three of us ( the guy , Me and waiter ) were listening intently[Girl] Mujhe lagta tha ....sob sob.....kee tum mujhe pasand nahin karte . khrr khrr[Boy] oh stupid girl . fir aisa kabhi mat sochna .[Girl] hooo. hooo ho... sob sob
Guy reachs over to give her a reassuring hug .waiter took a sigh of relief (or dissapointment ?) and returned back to his chores .Guy looked at me and smiled in such a sweet but apologizing way that even my atheist heart said a prayer to god asking to give him strength . I know He will be needing it .
So Now it was official that this was a newly blossomed romance.Given their age and situation I won't say that there was anything odd in that .But one could have expected from girl to atleast wait till their order is served and her poor "baby" had something inside his stomach. I don't think He has had his breakfast that morning .Anyways after little cajoling sanity ensued again on that balcony . very soon waiter brought their order .
Even though it was evident that couple was ok with my presence still I felt that I might be invading their privacy so I asked waiter to bring my bill . It was kinda getting hard for me to surpress my smile at the event . while I was waiting for it I secretly hoped that I won't have to hear sweet chirping of lovebirds anymore .But after a few second of getting "normal" there came the knock out punch and I wasn't able control my laughter despite my best effort
[Girl]....why did you waited for so long ?[Boy] well.... sach bolun[Girl] haan ?[Boy] I thot i will do it after 6-7 months of body building . I wanted to impress you with my biceps[Girl] (blushing and punching on his arm) I Like your bicepsthat was it . I burst in to laughter.....
[me] I am sorry but I couldn't control it i am sorry .[Girl] [Boy] Blushing smiling[me] I m sorry guys..I guess i should move . You guys look good together .god bless you.[Girl] [Boy] Thanks :)
I payed my bill at counter ..and walked my way home smiling and giggling on the events of the day . I sincerely wished those kids a happy life and why not? thinking of their actions still brings a smile on my face . what else you can hope from complete strangers . Thus ended an interesting day of my life .
photo courtesy Zazonga