My Tech Musing(s)

Lately there has been too much of mushy stuff on my blog  . Not that there is any thing wrong in those posts .its  just that I was getting tired of it myself. so when Shivnanda commented on my previous post asking for technology stuff that was the final motivation I needed . 

However eventhough i have few thoughts on what to write but right now I don't have bandwidth for constructing a full fledged article out of it . Due to some recent development I am and will be  a little hard pressed for time . Anyways  but to keep my promise I am reproducing two articles I wrote sometime back for 'i.t' Magazine , a publication of EFY Group. 

First one is on My fave topic in mobile,Mobile Location Based Services (LBS) . I have read so much on LBS that Its best that don't get started  :) .  You can read it in scribd  embed below 

Mobile LBS: The Power of Where

Publish at Scribd or explore others: Diagrams service services

Second one is on the nascent but paradigm shaking concept called " Mobile App Store" . It was originally introdued by Apple as an application distribution front end for its iPhone device. Thanks to the hype around iphone, iTuneApp store" never got the attention it deserved . In this article I have argued how, in the long run App store can be a more strategic advantage than iPhone it self . you can read it in scribd  embed below .

App Store Revolution

   Publish at Scribd or explore others:                revolution              Che      

   Very soon I will write more on tech for the audience of "knowprashant". In the meantime  do let me know what you think of them . I look for ward to your feedback :) 

My Little Pre Valentine Encounter - Part 2

So in my last post I told you about my little  (pre) valentine adventure . here is the sequel to the same .As I mentioned in  my previous post that this year V day seems to have arrived  a little too soon  and with a little more bang than usual . Those wired gifts and absurd discount offers are only one side of the story . other valentine related issue which is  hot topic of the week is our stance toward public display of  affection(PDA).   What this whole PDA debate eventually  boils down to is the question  that  " If a couple wants to do some activity  like holding hands , hugging, kissing and stuff in public .do they have a right to do that ?Do our "culture" allow that ?"   (just FYI , I recently learned that  super set of such activities  is collectively referred as "kooche koo"-ing). 

Everyone seems to have an opinion about it .A little conflict is brewing up in  Bangalore where Sri Rama Sene chief  Mr.Pramod Muthalik thinks that V Day is not an Indian thing and its polluting our culture .He says that if he find any couple dating or doing this PDA thing on VDay  He will be forcing them to get married on the spot .  To counter this threat My friend and fellow blogger Sanjukta Basu has started  Hug Karo and Pub Bharo Andolan  in  Bangalore. They will be doing a A Free Hug campaign on 14th Feb 2009 in Bangalore. They  would be going out in groups offering free hugs to the people of Bangalore, carrying placards like, ‘Happy Valentines Day, I love you, Hug me, ‘Public Display of violence is not part of Indian culture’ etc.  

Nisha Susan is doing a Pink Chaddi Campaign . their slogan is "This year let us send the Sri Ram Sena some love. Let us send them some PINK CHADDIS.". I must say that  these are one of the most innovative ways of protesting and fighting for a cause that  I have  seen in my life .Allthough I am not in bangalore but  I support Sanjukta and Nisha in their cause . This is  an out and out violation of our freedom and if I have my way I would send that joker to his rightful place . A Mental Aslyum . Its a shame to our democracy , to our freedom.     

This is not to say that PDA don't cause some discomfort to people around it do but that doesn't give anyone a right to curb freedom and force them to tie the knot. Living in Noida its very very common to witness this PDA stuff all around me and honestly if two consenting adults are involved than  who gives a damn .I have NEVER seen a couple crossing lines of decency . We don't need this rama sene brand Moral Policing . 

Funny thing is that while I am totally comfortable with the PDA  thing in cafes and pubs what makes me slightly uncomfortable is the torture of listening to their conversation . if you ever got a chance to sit next /close  to a  "couple" in cafe and were able to listen to their conversations you will understand what I mean . These conversations are hilarious yet torturing . Hilarious because usually there is  very tiny elements of  sense in them ( and both parties know it ) and Torturing because you are not supposed to laugh on the spot . Controlling the laughter is hard part.  I was witness to one such conversation last weekend . that was my second adventure . 

So after my meeting with Ravi and his fiance at Gift Gallery  I proceeded to kaffia for my weekend book reading dose . I took the table overlooking the street . my fave place on their balcony . I ordered  a coffee and started reading . after 10 min or so a waiter interrupted me . 

[Waiter] Excuse me sir ! would you mind sitting on someother table .

[Me] Why ?

[waiter]( pointing to a girl standing near the counter)  M'am ,  Wants to sits here 

[Me] Than Go and Tell your "M'am" that if She wants to sit here she will have to request it herself .and don't YOU come back again as her attorney

( After two min of soul searching she walked to me and said )

[Girl] Excuse Me! 

[Me]Yes !

[Girl] Would you mind shifting to other table . Actually I am waiting for my Boyfriend and I can keep an eye on road from here .Plus  its his fave table  

[Me] You want to delkho rastaa of your BF ?

[Girl] (Blushing) Yes !

[Me] WoW Must be a New boyfriend ( you see i was on roll that day)

[Girl] (seemingly uncomfortable becuase this talk is going longer than her expectation)

[Me] just kidding . Its my pleasure . 

I moved to other side of balcony and resumed reading .In between I happen to glanced at her once. She had an extraordinary multi tasking capabilities  . she was  waiting ,talking to someone on cellphone,looking at the menu card and glancing at her laptop screen once in a while .In between she found time to look at me also ,  on that moment , I resumed my reading ;) .

After some time Her Boyfriend entered the scene . A cute looking Hunk in Body hugging Tee Shirt .somewhat like Shaheed Kapoor  only slightly taller.   One sight of his  biceps  and I understood that its best to focus on my reading  . that point onward I was like the proverbial "Fly on The wall" . this is what little I heard of  their conversation when there volume was high  and my scholarly interpretation of the same.

After couple of min waiter arrives 

[waiter] your order sir..? 

[Boy] (looking at menu ) Baccha Kya khayega ? 

[Girl] (looking at her menu card ) aaj baacha kunch nahin kaheyga . aaj baccha dieting pe hai 

[Boy] Oh fir tou mein bhee nahin khaunga kuch 

[Girl] No baby ..tum khao na 

[Boy] No tum nahin to hum nahin ...... Atleast  juice le lo na 

[Girl] OK . I will have orange juice , make it sweet and a Cesar salad . happy ?  ( by god . Kya ehsaan hai ) 

[Boy] I will have a Veg Cheese Sandwich and Coffee

(waiter leaves )

[Girl] that was very sweet of you baby 

[Boy ] Anything for you baccha  ( by god kya insaan hai ) 

Neither the guy , nor the girl not even waiter found anything wierd about the whole conversation  . Chances are the even you won't find this odd. But  if you apply a little mind you will realize the comic nature of situation. First of all  they were  addressing each other as "baby" and "baccha" . unless both of them are suffering from some sort of severe puberty disorder ( very unlikely)  I don't see any reason why someone would like to be called that .  Second , girl has studiend the menu for full ten minute before the hunk arrived so why did she need to look again . Height of absurdity was that why would someone who is on diet to cut callories  would like to go for orange juice that too sweet (proof ). I guess they were really baccha and baby .

--------------for next 5-7 minute their volume was blissfully low . I was almost getting my pace of reading back , when I heard some panicked voice    

[Boy] kya hua baccha ... what happened ?

[Girl]  sob sob ..khhr khrr  sob sob ( khrr khrr sound was probably originating  from her nose)

[Boy]  bataou tou sahi ..whats the matter ?

[Girl] hich hich ..sob sob ....

[Boy] at least tell me.... did I said something wrong ? I am sorry . 

That went on for next 2 min or so . waiter sensed some trouble and came to them . than finally she wiped her nose ,took a sip from glass of water. and spoke .All three of us ( the guy , Me and waiter ) were listening intently 

[Girl] Mujhe lagta tha ....sob sob.....kee tum mujhe pasand nahin karte . khrr khrr 

[Boy] oh stupid girl . fir aisa kabhi mat sochna .

[Girl] hooo. hooo ho... sob sob 

Guy reachs over to give her a reassuring hug .waiter took a sigh of relief  (or dissapointment ?) and returned back to  his chores .Guy looked at me and smiled in such a sweet but apologizing way that even my atheist heart said a prayer to god  asking to give him strength . I know He will be needing it . 

So Now it was official that  this was a newly blossomed romance.Given their age and  situation  I won't say that there was anything odd in that .But one could have expected from girl to atleast wait till their order is served and her poor "baby" had something inside his stomach.  I don't think He has had his breakfast that morning .Anyways after little cajoling  sanity ensued again on that balcony . very soon waiter brought their order . 

Even though it was evident that couple was ok with my presence still I  felt that I might be invading  their privacy so I asked waiter to bring my bill . It was kinda getting hard for me to surpress my smile at the event . while I was waiting for it I secretly hoped  that I won't have to hear  sweet chirping of  lovebirds anymore .But after a few second of getting "normal"  there came the knock out punch and I wasn't able control my laughter despite my best effort   

[Girl]....why did you waited for so long ? 

[Boy] well.... sach bolun 

  

[Girl] haan  ?

[Boy] I thot i will do it after 6-7 months of body building . I wanted to impress you with my biceps 

[Girl] (blushing and punching on his arm) I Like your biceps 

   

that was it . I burst in to laughter.....

[me] I am sorry but I couldn't control it i am sorry . 

[Girl] [Boy] Blushing smiling 

[me] I m sorry guys..I guess i should move . You guys look good together .god bless you. 

[Girl] [Boy] Thanks :) 

I payed my bill at counter ..and walked my way home smiling and giggling on the events of the day . I sincerely wished those kids a happy life  and why not?  thinking of their actions still brings a smile on my face . what else you can hope from complete strangers . Thus ended an interesting day of my life .

photo courtesy Zazonga

My Little Pre Valentine Encounter - Part 1

I  love to catch up on my book readings on weekends  .I wake up at around 8:00 -8:30  grab a cup of tea , depending on mood and weather I take a shower , stuff two books in my "cool dude bag"  and rush to some cafe in Sec 18 Noida . Like a Bloke I love spending  next few hours reading  and sipping tea . I prefer to go early because you can beat the rush and all the noise which follows after lunch . Cafes becomes too crowded ,Music turns too loud and people come, drink, pay and go like zombies .I drop in early  in order to  escape all that .

But things were little different yesterday . in fact it was like that for whole of last week. It seems that this year Valentine day seems to have arrived a couple of week before its due date and As it happen in all cases of premature birth .while  rest of the family ( family as in Vasudhav kutumbkam , "whole world is our family" ) rejoice the early arrival of metaphorical "bundle of Joy " its a little painful  for some . for example  sometime in last week I received an SMS offering me 20% "Valentine " discount on Mattress. I was in awe of marketeers ability to understand "futuristic " needs of customer and design a offer "ahead of time " ;). But unfortunately he choose the wrong man to pitch .Looking at the current state of my romantic life that offer was like selling Hajmola to someone  starving in Ethiopia . An unintended but cruel joke. 

This Saturday on my way to cafe I noticed that  A gift shop in Great India Palace shopping mall had an offer on some Heart shaped soft toys " This Valentine Buy 3 Get 2 Free". That made me  wonder about who in these times of recession can afford 5 Girlfriends . Curious to see such people I walked in to the shop and started browsing through the cards . Man those cards  were BIG and not to mention  expensive . after a minute or so of browsing cards I proceed to check the soft toys section. There I saw a very pretty  girl checking out those stupid "Winne the pooh" and "Hug Me " teddy . I was intrigued. What is she doing here ? Is She "Buying "gift?  that's anomalous  .

God's grand cosmic design has placed girls at the receiving end of gift food chain. who is this creature challenging the cosmic code ? since  its not everyday you "spot"  girls buying gift  and finding a pretty girl in gift shop around valentine day is next to impossible .  so I thought of  exploring a little  more . Curious (ya I am very curious by nature  ) I walked to her casually and started thinking about how to start the conversation 

[Me ] Nice Stuff here . isn't it ?

(she looked at me and scanned me from Head to toe like an MRI Machine . apparently she didn't  find anything wrong so she choose to respond).

[Girl] Ya and this time they are not so expensive . 

( This time ?? do she had to buy gift every valentine .How unfortunate ? what a shame for masculine of human species ). 

[Me ] (tactically not looking at her) This time ?? So you gift yourself this stuff on every valentine day ? 

[Girl] (suppressing a smile and raising eye brow ) Excuse Me ! What made you think I am gonna gift it to my self ?

( its such pleasure when a pretty girl have a sense of humor to understand my joke . whenever it happens my first reaction is "She must be a firang NRI " . Outside of one exceptional indecent this assumption has always proven right  )

[me]  Oh  I don't  mean you don't get  gift . I am sure you do . 

[Girl] (chuckling  and  thinking of herself like Kareena Kapoor ) You bet I do .

[me] ( damage control mode ,switch to plan B) I agree.I just thought You are gifting it to your self because....umm lets say you are holding on for Mr Right . Right ?? (This always works )

[Girl] ( No effort to hide the smile ,this time ) Very Smart . humm .you use this trick  often ? 

[me]  Well not often . Only during Valentine season.

[Girl ] (Laughing out loud ).

(apparently her wind chime like laughter drew totally unwarranted attention from store attendant and he walked to me and said " Can i help you sir? )" 

[Me] Ya I m looking for something .

[Attendant] What ? 

[Me] (thinking hard )  Well I am looking for a teddy bear with "Marry Me" written on it 

[Attendant] Sir woh tou mushkil hai ..abhi tou season ka maal he stock mein hai 

[Girl] [Me] (laughing loud again.)

(attendant  walks away feeling embraced)

[Girl] (controlling her laughter ) Oh My God that was  funny .

[Me] (gigling) and honest too . BTW  I am Prashant 

[Girl ]  Hi I am <I am not gonna tell you her name >

[Me] Nice meeting you .

[Girl] same here . wait my fiance would love to meet you . he is in next shop.

[Girl] (understanding fully and enjoying it ) What happened ? disappointed to hear that ? 

[Me] No . Come on . Of Course not . (smooth under pressure..That's me )

[Girl] sure ?

[Me] YA sure ..and .Why would I ? . You just saved me cost of two coffees .

[Girl] ha ha ha . you have a great sense of humor .

[Me] ya I heard that before  

Few min later her Fiance enters the scene with three shopping bag . He was a dusky ,south Indian guy of medium built  with glasses but Handsome nevertheless . Together they make a nice couple .

[Girl] Ravi , this is Prasahnt , Prashant This is Ravi , My fiance . The Mr. Right 

We shook hands .

[Ravi] and you guys ....??

[Girl] We just meet. He was flirting with me.

[Ravi] (smiling ) Bad Luck Dude . you are six month too late .

[Me] (smiling ) Ya but looking at your shopping bags .I guess it happened for the best  .

[Ravi] (Laughing out loud )... Thanks for understanding Man .But atleast I am paying in Rs now . it was worse while we were in  UK.

(See the NRI Theory was right )

[Girl] Excuse me.  I don't do much shopping . its only that  stuff which  I need . You guys are so mean .

[me][ravi] (looking at the BAGS)  right ...(laughter)

[Girl] so I see you two ganged up .. good.

That followed up by a casual "get to know " conversation .Ravi insisted for Coffee but I refused . I wished them luck for married life  and  bid adieu . they promised me to invite on their wedding . I took their permission to publish it here and they said OK as long as their identity is not revealed (Ravi is not full name).

After a long time I meet some people who are not closed shell  and had good sense of humor .  It was refreshing to see that there are couples who don't let the whole relationship stuff get in to their head . I wish them Happy valentine and a happy married life . At the risk of sounding rude I would say that going forward their biggest challenge of living in India will  to remain as open minded like they are now . I wish them good luck for that too. :)

Anyways So back to whole Sec-18 Market and my weekend book reading rituals. so after this funny encounter I walked my way to Kaffia , a Cafe in Sec-18. I was hoping to finish reading latest books in my collection. But fate has other plans  because another interesting indecent was waiting for me there . It was no at all like the previous one and I was only a silent spectator to it .  I will tell you about it in next post .

photo credit :jamminjj

"25 Things About Me " meme

Facebook seems to be breeding ground for some of the most interesting meme I have ever seen on internet. Sometime back I Blogged about Page56 meme. Now a days whole world seems to be busy with "25 Things about me"  meme. its an interesting thing . You are supposed to write 25 little known facts about you and tag 25 of your facebook friends .  I came to know a lot of interesting things about my friends . so today i decided to jottdown some little none facts about myslef.

Here they are ...reproduced for the readers of this blog 

25 Things About Me 

Rules: Once you've been tagged, you are supposed to write a note with 25 random things, facts, habits, or goals about you. At the end, choose 25 people to be tagged. You have to tag the person who tagged you. If I tagged you, it's because I want to know more about you.

• First and formost I think that Mobile Phone is the defining invention of our era. its equivalent to the invention of Printing press ,Internet and electricity. 
  
• Few times in my life i had foresight dreams where event i saw in dream, happened in next day or two.
  
•  My childhood ambition was to be a Ninja ,Monk,Super Commando Dhruv & Astronaut. 
  
• I spent most of my childhood watching TV. I used to be in awe of Siddharth Basu and never missed his show "Quiz Time".I used to stay awake till late night to watch "British Airways " and "Master Card" advertisement during NDTV's show "The World This Week". I cried once while watching a Serial named Oshin .
  
• As a kid I used to read 4 news paper in a day now i read 50-100 Article per day.
  
• I have my own bucket's list and i have crossed only few items in it .
  
• I prefer sleeping in my Jeans and Tee Shirt .
  
• I love my family . Specially my younger brother. I can kill for him .
  
• The best complement I received till now is "You are the only person I know who has experienced life completely , in all its shades".
  
• I believe that The best complement I can give to a girl is "I want you to meet my mother".
  
• I Love beer but hate whiskey and other hard drinks .
  
• I never had a date while I was in college . Two girls asked me out but I refused .
  
• I am a Yellow Belt Level -2 In Karate , I hope someday i will get black belt too.
  
• I think Jeon Ji Hun, Simmi Grewal and Gayatri Devi are most Beautiful women in world . 
  
• I used to write cryptic love poems for my friend's Valentine cards , where Girl's name can be seen by looking at text in a specific way.
  
• I suffer from acute wanderlust . I can't travel enough . when i go on trips I prefer to walk. I am looking for a travel companion who look forward to TRAVEL and not too eager to REACH.
  
• I would love to have Sara Heinrichs and doublecappuccino (seth) as wedding photographer for my wedding. 
  
• I hate the site of homeless kids . Feel like taking them home . I will adopt a kid someday.
  
•  I want to attend TED Talks and do a similar event in India.
  
• If I can get away from it , I would love to kill some of my teachers .
  
• I am a Matrix Fan Boy .Its like a religion for me . I have seen the trilogy more than 50 times . I can recite all the dialog in sleep. I have read two books on it and every article ever published . 
  
• I love reading . If I like a book I will read it twice. First book I bought was "Journey to the center of world : By Jules Verne" and " Selected works of Khallil Zibran" .I was 13 and My dad was worried about my choice of books. 
  
• I love Korean movies. Three of my Fave movies are from korea.
  
• I think too much and I want to change this about me.
  
• When I will find my soul mate. I would take her to see Venice .
  
• All though I don't usually express them at public forums but I have strong and robust opinions about topics like Philosophy,God,Democracy, Multi Verse Theory, Time Delusion and Simulation argument.
  
•  I hate the whole idea of growing up.
  

Thanks Rita,Sunandini,and Ekta for Tagging me in their entries .

 

Obituary

Some of you know my fondness for word Serendipity . A part of it is due to the fact that its name of one of my fave movie. I don't know how many times I have seen it . Here is my fave scene from the movie . Just feel like posting it today. 

and here is the Transcript . 

Jonathan Trager, prominent television producer for ESPN, died last night from complications of losing his soul mate and his fiancee. He was 35 years old. Soft-spoken and obsessive, Trager never looked the part of a hopeless romantic. But, in the final days of his life, he revealed an unknown side of his psyche. This hidden quasi-Jungian persona surfaced during the Agatha Christie-like pursuit of his long reputed soul mate, a woman whom he only spent a few precious hours with. Sadly, the protracted search ended late Saturday night in complete and utter failure. Yet even in certain defeat, the courageous Trager secretly clung to the belief that life is not merely a series of meaningless accidents or coincidences. Uh-uh. But rather, its a tapestry of events that culminate in an exquisite, sublime plan. Asked about the loss of his dear friend, Dean Kansky, the Pulitzer Prize-winning author and executive editor of the New York Times, described Jonathan as a changed man in the last days of his life. "Things were clearer for him," Kansky noted. Ultimately Jonathan concluded that if we are to live life in harmony with the universe, we must all possess a powerful faith in what the ancients used to call "fatum", what we currently refer to as destiny. 

Courtesy IMDB 

Dealing with Acute Lonsomeness : A Surviver's Notes

The long term benefits of sunscreen have been proved by Scientists whereas the rest of my advice has no basis more reliable Than my own meandering Experience…

~Baz Luhrmann in Sunscreen 

I am no stranger to lonesomeness. for past one and a half year I have been ALONE for most of the time .Eversince my flat mate Jitu got busy with his film making gig . I am pretty much living by myself .I  was in a relationship  but unfortunately  it fell  apart few months ago .This solitary existence played a catalytic role in withdrawl symptoms . Things were pretty bad at one point of time . Its not that I don't have friends. I have and they are dependable but calling someone over to your flat for a  drink or some philosophical babbling doesn't justify the logistical difficulty (and cost) . Ergo I stay in my cocoon . waiting for the time when I will become a " butterfly". 

I was forced to deal with this "urban loner ", "High Tech Low life " syndrome.Charles Darwin told us that In the process of evolution , humans ( mammals to be more generic ) develop some sort of equilibrium with their  surrounding .This is how life flourish .While all the biological  and ecological adaptations are gradual, natural and somewhat instinctive , same can't be stated for psychological adaptation.They are anything but INSTINCTIVE .Things are not in Black and white there. When things are inside your head you don't need to change the world you need to change your  perspective . Easier said than done . Dealing with lonesomeness  is one such thing.  

My time as a loner has tought me that Lonlinesss is not a state of world its a state of mind .with that relevation I fought back and I am still fighting back and its fucking  fun fighting it .This post is an attempt to share some of the tactics which has worked for me .I am writing them here so that you don't have to learn them hard way .so here goes .

Every Lonliness is a Pinnacle 

~Ellosworth M. Toohey In The FountainHead  

#1 Stop Mulling  Over  Your "Story"  and Start writing it :

So Whats your story so far ? Let me gues .You are someone in his /her late twenties , staying away from  parents for past 4-5 years , working with a leading software company , making a decent salary every month, You like your work but you also know that it's not world changing , you had a girl friend /boy friend but things didn't worked out , most of your friends have "other plans" everytime you call. You have some ideas for a starting a business /wrting a book / starting a project  but things are stagnated . There is an inexplicable inertia all around you  .Your parents are after your life to convince you to get married but you are waiting for your  Lady Love(or  Mr. Right ) .  Usually you put up a brave front but one sublime day When you get frustrated you ask "Why Its happening to  Me ?" . Well....there is nothing  unique about you and ....It's not "happening" to You Damn it, you are doing it to yourself . 

Mulling over your story is the worst thing you can do while facing the challenge of  lonesomeness . You can think about your college days, that trip to goa with friends, your frust crush, first kiss [if any],first heart break ,  first job and First ["insert your mental cobweb here"] . This won't help. You can think about this till Cow comes home and you will still be miserable.  Trust me  I  am speaking from experience . 

You need to understand ..what ever it was... its over .There is nothing wrong in looking back at your life once in a while and feel nostalgic but don't make it a full time job . if you keep on rewinding those memories again and again they will loose whatever little healing power they have .  and let me tell you what you are "Actually" doing . you are escaping and you are escaping to familarity .  Don't do it . Your mind need stimulus  .Go out create your new memories .explore life . what happened  till now was one chapter of a long book named Life . Now turn the fucking page and write the next ...We are looking forward to reading  it :) 

#2 Don't think you are the only one :

One of the most common misconception harbored by any loner  is that He is the only one in world going through it .  That all cosmic forces are conspiring against him . Its not like this dude (or babe) . I have some good news for you .World is full of self proclaimed victims like you  (one of the ex vetran victim is writing this blog ) . What ? You want to know where they are  ? Well I can tell you some of them are sitting in front of a computer screen right now and reading this article, like you . Rest of them log in regularly at Facebook/orkut/my space . Patient in advance stage of disease becomes bloggers and you can find teminally ill folks at slashdot .

I was reading google trend report sometime back and learned that most of the time highest  traffice laod on sites like Facebook, Orkut,Match.com ,Yahoo Chat is in late evening hours .and its consistent across Geography .  Be it india , Korea , brazil or USA  there are are people who don't have anyone to talk in evening . Take a look at this chart and see how consistently people are looking for the solution for loneliness . 

 

So how does this knowledge can help you today evening when you will be alone again ? Well First off it will have a sort of placebo effect ..you may find an irrational (and may be false) comfort of  proximity,connection  and numbers . second you can rule out the "Fate-is-conspiring -against-me" theory  ,third if like me you are thinking that Changing City-Country-Job will solve your problem than you can throw those hope away too . 

Trust me, once you clear this crap out from your head problem will look very managable . 

#3 Stop Comparing 

When We are lonely We start comparing our self to people around us. We compare and we compare stupidly some common examples are 

Situation( i ) : You see this  always smiling  guy with iPhone who flaunts it to evey girl in office and they swoon looking at the shiny toy . You look the "stardom" of guy and think "Man ! Whats the big deal.  Don't they know that iPhone Firmware had this issue  and it don't even let you access file system and there is no fucking Cut-Copy-Paste in that . My Nokia N95 is far better than it . Why don't they see Me and My N95" .  

Therotically you are right. May god give  more  Power to you  "theoretically" .  But in the mean time that "jerk" will  keep on getting  one date after another . 

Situation (ii) : You go to neighbourhood shopping mall  .you see a newly wed couple where  lady is holding (clinging) arm of  her "Hubby" while navigating   her way through the crowd .  you think "Man ! How cute. such a gesture in today's time ?What a Lucky Dog "  

Example (iii) :Your married friend seems to be having a perfect life He just got a new job and a second  car . 

Example (IV):  Someone less competent got a promotion ,while you suffer a 10% payrise .

 I can go on and on ...List is endless .

To sum up It appears to you that whole world is living in the state of blissful joy  .Like they are celbrating the second coming of christ . On the other hand in your life. its  like an eternal month "ramzan" and you are thumping your chest like rudaali . You know something ! you are stupidly selective in your observation . I was like you only before I wised up.

Solution (i) : Chances are that this "always smiling  jerk " is not that popular as it seem . Do as I say. Talk to one of those girls ..talk to them for 5 min ..Mention his name once and than wait, beat around the bush. I bet you will see the dirt .No,You will see a Cloud of dirt . A Massive explosion of  dirt . In that explosion of dirt you will see the "eternal truth"  which has always elduded the masculine of human species . " If you think that you are popular with More than one girl chances  are that you are popular with none of them ". 

So next time you see such "hot shot" .Just close your eyes imaging a huge explosion of dirt bomb . you will feel better .

Solution (ii):

Do you know that most  of the time when newly wed women do that "Cling-the-arm-in-public" stunt is   when  

•  A more Hot single chick  is passing by . it's women's code of saying " Stay Away Bitch , He is My Catch"
  
• They are wearing a sandal with pencil heel .their clinging to hubby's arm is not a gesture of emotional support or something, its a gesture of  support ; litreally .
  

This is not to say that this gesture doesen't mean anything . It do  but when such actions are driven by genuine love, admiration and dependebility then it will be very pure . The vibes won't make you feel bad  about yourself .  Its hard to explain the diffrence . you will know it when you will see it . I have seen  both and from compelte strangers . there is a hell  lot of diffrence . 

Same goes for rest of the examples also . you are seeing wordl filtered through the lense of  your biases . there is always another dimension . Often times when chips are down we don't bother to look for alternate explanation of events . We run with first thing that comes to our mind . sadly its in those un explored dimenstion that truth reside .Explore them ..look for alternate explanation .Truth shall set you free from truma of comparision.

# 4 Join A Gym - Excercise is just one part of it 

For years I resisted any suggestion of joining gym and doing workout . Mere thought of getting out of bed and doing those funny things to yourself was a horror. Result ?  I had a body which was rapidly turning in to a SCUD ( solid Cylinder of Uniform Diameter) and a stamina which was not worth mentioning . not a good thing for someone with the ambition of dating Sania Mirza .  So Sometime back i joined a gym in my office building .  It was very hard initially  I felt pain in those part of my body which i didn't even know I had . Talk of self awareness !

But one unintended influence of going to gym was the people I meet there  .  I meet a middle age housewife working in a software company .Mother of a 4 year old kid . She told me that She do gym not because she aspire to be a slim "in shape" chick  but becuase it keeps her mind  fresh  and clear the stress . One shower after an hour of workout and She feel stress free . In the absense of regular excercising she becomes edgy and restless .  Her husband is so happy from the change that he makes tea for her in morning so that she can do gym.  

I meet a group of 4 guys of  my age.Listening to their conversation in shower room is like daily dose of laughter challenge . they told me that they come an hour early to office so that they can have fun in gym . otherwise its boring life in office .

what you see here ? these are people who don't let things happen to them .when they see some thing wrong with their life they take action to fix it . scope of their action might be limited to their life only but still we can learn from them . They don't drift through life . this is the type of people you need to interact with  when you are alone . so that you don't resging your self to fate . BTW I've started wearing my body hugging T shirt again and it don't feel that odd  . : ) 

# 5 Call your parents  more often : 

Your parents can sense your trouble from miles away .  even on phone . they can tell something is wrong . so you think you can save them from trouble by avoiding to call them . they will still sense it . so best bet is be regular ..more regular in calling them and based on your comfort level discuss what you are going through. they are one of those very few people in world  who won't judge you no matter what . so be  little more open to them . I don't know why it helps but it helps . Of Course their is a sideeffect that you will have to field the Questions about getting married but I believe you can handel it . 

#6 Go Ahead Talk to "that" Girl /Boy  

This is a bit  risky but worth trying . You don't really know this person.  you see them once in a while ..around you but have no direct communication link . there is something about them there personality , mannerism , their eyes ,their look , their aura  or something inexplicable .  complicated  protocol of social formality dictates that you shouldn't  venture to talk to them . unless you mask it under  some stupid  "friend" stuff.  I strongly advice that if you think that talking to this person will be helpful than go ahead do it . Most people respect your honestly  If your intentions are clear  . its risky because 

A) Most of the time this occurs with the person of opposite sex so often times we confuse it with Crush or something .As I will explain in next point that its anything but crush . 

B) You can get rejected or humilated if the person whom you talked to turns out to be shallow or uncommunicative .

If you get humiliated or something than please be easy on your self and other person . see there are so many folks around us who play the victim card to get sympathy . it may be the case that person you are approching has been tricked before on such things . HE/She has good reason to avoid you . Eveyone has got their own history and their own cross to carry .

But my Life's experience tell me that people are more nice than society allow them to be . Since each one of  us has gone through this phase at one time or another so most of the time they try to be help.Its a risk nevertheless but a risk worth taking . I talked to someone about my problem once  .Someone whom I didn't knew much . I was lucky than She didn't turned out to be a jerk . Did it helped ? You bet . 

#7 Remember Relatioship is  not a  cure of  Lonesomeness  

You are going through this period of extended solitude and someone who is your well wisher suggest that "why don't you start seeing someone ?" .Its more likely if you are suffering a breakup . suddenly you will see a whole army of friends trying to set you up with another friend of theirs (who in all pobability is also suffering  from same problem) .you are so distressed that  a slightest  of comfort will seems like a Manna in dessert. you will fall for it . and agree to meet . you will tell yourself ..after all its just a meeting . 

This is a Trap , turn back and RUN ..Run for your fucking life or else  few months down the line you will wreck two more lives  . one of those will be yours . This is one point where I am not speaking from my own experience . But  I have seen it happening from sideline. I have seen it  way too many times that i think its true . Why this happen ? because the foundation of that realtionship was pain . it was never meant to last . Its like dating your dentist . you can only have 32 trips on the pretext of your "Problem" . if you want the relationship to last beyond that than it better have some thing more real and more robust . Sadly this is not true for most of the cases.  

# 8 Learn to be comfortable with your self 

Being Alone force you to be in the company of one person who matter most in your life  YOU .  We feel bad because we don't really know this person or we have forgotten whatever little familarity we had . whats left is a chaotic mix of your friends and family's opinion . without rhyme or reason . Take this time to sort it out . Take this time to be friends again . Its not some freudian crap i am talking about  its your life which is being dicussed .  As I don't know you so i can't suggest what you should do specifically . but i can tell what I did so that you can get a general  idea .  

Once i resolved to fight back , I  realized that only thing i have on my side is time . I started using it for good . started spending time on my self .  All the while i knew some of my prsonality issues .aggression , too much analysis , too mcuh involvment ,  too much spending , etc etc . I always wanted to work on them and improve them but never did. with nothing else to do i started focusing on these aspects of my persona .  Initial result are very encouraging. You will be surprised to see what you are capable of . It require a lot of disciplain initially but soon it becomes a routine . Today I wake up early (5:30) read a book for an hour, walk for 10 -15 minute. every weekend I do my own laundry  .I have actually started saving . all this was stuff of dream few months back .

 I am nowhere near my goal . I am nowhere close to attaining my residual self image. there is a long road ahead .whatever I have achieved till now are my private personal accomplishments.I am sure their will more acid tests down the line .It will be hard  but for the first time in many years I want to give it a good fight . for the first time in many year i am starting  to believe . I doubt if any of that would have happen without the opprtunity of self reflection offered to me in the disguise of solitude . 

# 9 Work on your interest : 

You are single , you have a 5 day work week , you have some money to spare . you might as well  use it on doing all the stuff which makes little sense to do but which you always wanted to do . Travel  to little known places , Read those obscure book you heard about , buy yourself a set of lego bricks,Indulge in Window Shopping  .kind of  stuff which is generally associated with  kids or old people . They do it due to lack of other option and its unlikely that they wil be able to alter their life in any siginifcant way by doing that . but you are still young you can use the learning for your own good . 

In last 06 months or so i have traveled a bit . read some weird books like simulacra and simulation , tried my hand at lego bricks .I learned to paly opening chord of "Ajeeb dastan hai ye" on aryan's synthesizer .  I am proud of every single second of doing that . find your own muse and you will be happy too . [ By the way Making model with lego bricks turned dout to be  more difficult than I imagine  . other good thing about having lego blocks in your  apartment is that you have some bright colored thing around .  ] 

#10 Fix your dinner your self

 I Love cooking  so I am biased on this one .It may or may not be usefull for you to same extent . But it won't do much harm either . I learned to cook three chicken dish , i can make a brittish breakfast of pan cakes and many such stuff . How i did that ? By putting my laptop on refrigerator in my kitchen , searching google recipie , watching  youtube video of cookery  demonstration. while listening to some song using winamp . It  was Fun ! Try it . 

By any standard I am still a loner and I have a long way to go . But it hurts me a little less now and I am fighitng it . I dare say that now there is some fun in this .I write this so that you can also look at it in same way . I hope that these rants are usefull for you . 

Thanks For reading a Loooooong Post .